Funny Sex Quotes That Have to Do With Lube

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Quotes tagged as "sex-quotes" Showing 61-76 of 76

"Cheating in relationship is a sign of self-regulation failure. When it happens ones, it is a mistake. When it happens twice, it is unfortunate. But when it happens thrice or more, it is a pattern indicating primitive, uncivilized inhuman behavior."
― Abhijit Naskar, Wise Mating: A Treatise on Monogamy

"In modern times couples are more concerned about loyalty than love."
― Amit Kalantri, Wealth of Words

"Butt holes are like a one-way street; they were made the way they were for a reason."
― Nenia Campbell, Bound to Accept

"He was responsible for my peaks and valleys, the pulsating waves and earth-shattering releases. It didn't matter if I was bound or not, whether we fucked or made love, he was in control. The reality was he was always in control."
― Arika Stone, The Sanctuary

"In my early twenties, I treated sex like a bartering system, trading giving for receiving, feeling victorious when I'd received more pleasure, and swindled when I'd given more. As I matured, sex became a bond that was only gratifying when both parties were equally satisfied."
― Maggie Young

"Adolescence is never graceful or beautiful. Our first steps are wobbly, full of stumbles and spills. Our first words are mispronounced and barely comprehendible. Our first kisses are sloppy and wet. The process of breaking sexual thresholds is far from sexy. It will be a long time until being a penetrator outgrows the feel of a grade school science experiment where I fill my paper mache volcano with vinegar and baking soda, giggling and high-fiving my lab partner once it explodes."
― Maggie Young

"I quickly found the dating/hookup app to be a dangerous addition to my iPhone. A friend recommended it after shit hit the fan with my boyfriend. With enough breakups under my belt, I knew that the healthiest remedy was a solid rebound fuck or two. Tinder made it easy- too easy. Suddenly, I could sit in traffic, on the toilet, or in line at the DMV and carelessly swipe, swipe, swipe my way to dick-on-delivery. Tinder selections are based on proximity via smart phones, so there are tons of tourists, travelers, and young professionals on business trips swiping through new hunting grounds. Its loose, easy-come-easy-go method made hookups as convenient as picking up lunch. Tinder's nonchalance went both ways. We had nothing to lose."
― Maggie Young

"If you want to know about sex don't ask your parents. They don't have any and know nothing about it. Find out yourself"
― Bangambiki Habyarimana, The Great Pearl of Wisdom

"What do girls want? That's easy to answer. They want the same as men. They just want it more often."
― Chloe Thurlow, Katie in Love

"If she's faking it you still have a shot at making it work [...]"
― Alice Walsh, A Poker Game of Love

"Anal sex was my least favorite bedroom activity. Even through half a bottle of lube, the whole charade felt like pooping backwards. It was a negotiation token- something I begrudgingly did in exchange for backrubs and switching the television from football to Sex in the City. Anal sex was something I tolerated in order to be a cool girlfriend, because it was and still is common knowledge that that men love shoving their dicks in buttholes.
Male buttholes, however, had their own rules and regulations. Everyone knew that men who allowed rectal access were gay. I didn't question it. I didn't analyze it. I only knew to treat the male asshole as if it had a grenade buried inside of it that could ignite a deadly explosion of anger, trauma, and sexual confusion."
― Maggie Young

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Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/sex-quotes?page=3

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